There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
wow bdsm is so cute
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