We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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