Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want nice things and good sex
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize