his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
