Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
