...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
