And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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