This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
