okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
