I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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