She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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