I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize