East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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