They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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