Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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