I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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