my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
