i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
