i don't like sucking hair
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
