I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
