Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
