So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize