During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
