At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize