Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
