Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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