She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize