Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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