Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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