Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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