Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
