if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize