party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
