I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
