Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
