Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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