I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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