You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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