member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
