Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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