That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
