question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
