did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
