If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
