About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Its about making memories worth repressing
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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