Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
