So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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