I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
