are you still at the devil's house?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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