whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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