i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
