He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize