I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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