Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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