I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was CRYING into my vagina
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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