Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
