The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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