It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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