No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
