so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
they need to just BURY HIM!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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